Uncyclopedia on India!

“Ever heard of Wikipedia?”
“Of course I have, you moron.”
“Wokay! Ever heard of India?”
“!!! What have been smoking lately? I live in India, @&*@*# (censored).”
“Oh! …and Uncyclopedia? Must have been there. Right?”
“Uh! Uncyclo… what???”
“hohoho” *grin*

Now this is what I call discovery. I don’t even remember properly, which link dropped me on this psychotic site. Uncyclopedia is a (very small, but growing) mirror of Wikipedia; but in a completely different manner. All the information on Uncyclopedia is nonsense and very hilarious. (Some people might not be able to digest everything. It is thus advised to vomit such things out and regain the old state of happiness. Remember and say, “I always wanted to be happy. I want to be happy. I am happy.” 😉 )

I present you a small snippet of the page on India (or Brownies):

  • India is a fictional place, rumored to have been created by J.R.R Tolkien whilst he wrote the Lord of the Rings trilogy. He had planned for it to be a large section occupied mainly by hobbits, leprechauns and other fictional creatures such as the French, for example. In this legendary tome, the region contributes for a large proportion of the population of Middle Earth (roughly 17%) and many of the inhabitants have spread to other areas, such as The Shire, and set up small corner shops and take-aways.
    Although only three people got to read the un-edited version, the idea of “India” has spread through word of mouth. Americans though still struggle to comprehend the idea of India (or of anything else for that matter).

  • Official Languages: Sanskrit, Hindi, English, Marathi + 10^100 others
  • Unofficial Languages: Mumbaiya, Gulti, Inglis
  • Worst Language: Malayalam (It means the same even when read backwards)
  • Most Deadly Language: Classical Tamil
  • Government: SardarJi

  • Religion: Everything known to man 🙂
  • National Heroes: Me, Amitabh Bachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Emporar Ashoka, and Buddha
  • Hindi (pronounced “hindii” in Hindi and “telegU” in Malayalam) is the default (viz. sixth generation C) language of India. There are an additional 420 official (viz. nth generation uncyclux) languages in India but none reflect the poetic greatness of (H)India.
    Urdu is the national language of India’s cricketing rival: Pakistan. Basically Hindi and Urdu are the same language: just that Urdu is written in the reverse order.
    Though Pakistan has rejected Hindi, Indians in their pseudo-secular broadmindedness have embraced Urdu hole-heartedly.

  • Cricket: The game of Rioting was a joint venture between India and Pakistan. The tradition now is that once any cricket match is over, everyone must riot and burn down a stand. This also keeps the youths in the country employed. Pakistan is India’s long time rival in both games, cricket & rioting, of which India has won all.
  • It is not unusual for the captain of a losing Indian cricket team to be sacrificed to a Hindu God of their choice. It is also not unusual for the captain of a winning Indian cricket team to be sacrificed to a Hindu God of their choice.
  • Bollywood is a very popular film industry and is as popular as Hollywood and is known all over India. They make the worst films in the world. No one watches them except for prudish high school girls and over-sized, middle-aged housewives. The only reason for the continuation of the boom in the cinema industry in India is that it’s cheaper to pay to sleep in the cool confines of a cinema hall than to pay to sleep in a hotel.
  • According to a famous film critic, who says this on the condition of anonymosity fearing murder, Bollywood thought sex did not exist until 2002 AB. Any and every intimate scene, if ever it passed the Censor Boards, was depicted by two flowers rubbing against each other. The censored rape scenes involved thunder and lightning or huge tidal waves hitting the rocks.
  • Then, stalwarts like Rakhi Sawant came onto the screen and rediscovered the “dare to bare” philosophy. Of late, explicit scenes have become the norm, so much so that the Censor Board is contemplating including porn in its archives.
  • Name of states:
    • Jammu and Kashmir: Almost Pakistan
    • Arunachal Pradesh: Almost China
    • Maharashtra: Bollywood
    • Orissa: Skyscrapers (???)
    • Chhattisgarh: Wait, was this one here before?
    • Andaman & Nicobar Island: Tsunami Island

Disclaimer(s):
1. The chatting para that you see on the top of the page is inspired from the posts of an Indian called Amrit Mishra, who belongs to the state of Skycrapers. He is also a native of the same state called Skycrapers. He sometimes (which is two times every night) writes something and shows it to the whole world. He calls it by some strange name called Blogging. Please do not prosecute him and spoil his self-prosecution plans. 😉
2. If you feel like kicking the lower body part on my backside (the name of which I do not wish to pronounce) because I posted half of the article instead of providing the link then please understand that I am an Indian and I am a very very patriotic Indian. We have a saying, “Atithi devo bhav!”, which means Guest is like God. When you are here, why go somewhere else (specially if you’re a h** lady, which I hope you are).
3. This exactly in not a disclaimer. I was just reminded of a lady who is also from the state Skyscrapers (just like my dear and near friend Amrit Mishra) and speaks the word (which I could not mention in my 2nd disclaimer) very very fluently. She also writes things called blogs. These people from the city of Skyscrapers are very very crazy. God help them (with some pakhaalo) 😉

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Uncyclopedia on India!

  1. U big b******! Ugly f*****! Wat d hell???
    F*** u!!!!!

    Jus kiddin buddy! Very, very original piece. Whr did u get all dis frm???

    Pakhaala, eh? aw…. Y is Orissa related wth skyscrapers? Due 2 their absence? Wat abt Bihar???

  2. hehe 😀

    Actually I never intended to include you both. It was only when I started writing the disclaimer that the chatting thing is inspired from your post, I realised that there a little more connection… and then I found another connection with the lady. 😀

    The page is from Uncylopedia

    …and honestly. I don’t have ANY idea why they call Orissa that way. May be they see the future (???) wrt to all the Steel industries swarming in. 🙂
    Bihar, btw, is called “More Wasteland”.

    It’s strange conincidence that I wrote about Pakhaala yesterday night and your todays post is well… on home made food. 🙂

  3. what the heckkkkkkkkkkkk u little moron u cant even pronounce the famous imprecation any decent woman hoping to live peacefully in an unpeaceful,chaotic and basically indecent crowd of some a*******, can use most appropriately and righteously?
    follow my advice and GET UR TONGUE CHECKED!!!

  4. @all:
    The lady” arrives 😀

    @Jeeta:
    Sorry Mother 😦
    BTW, since when did you start replacing your favorite word with “heckkkkkk” 😛

  5. @Bentley and Pres*:
    I can understand your situation guys. Believe me. 🙂
    I first read it during the night and laughed like crazy. Was lucky that no one was around though 😀

    But honestly. I expected that you guys were aware of this site.

    @Pres*:
    If you read my Google related post, you’d have guessed that I am planning to shift to WP. It’ll take time though. 🙂

  6. Pingback: Voizd » “Uncyclopedia?”, Your Kidding Me Right?

  7. Pingback: Lord, Save my country! « I am the monarch of all I Survey

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s