[YART]:The First Time(s)

I have been transferred to Bangalore. I got a flat to stay even before landing here, thanks to Manas. We get to eat home-made food, thanks to Ajay. Got a part of relocation money in advance which I needed desperately, thanks to my company.
And the best part of all this is that I’d be working on my field Web Application Security with amazing people around, one of them being Peter Thomas, author of JTrac.:)
Now, so many nice things scared me initially but I’ve adjusted somehow. 😉

This post, however, is not about my Bangalore experience. Nor is it about how frustrating the first day was because not even one of the 9 floored building had a single working coffee machine… this crisis continued for straight 10 days.
Can you imagine “Engineers without Coffee”???
The policy makers need to read Dilbert.

Anyways. In another news, I bought a bicycle to commute to office, which is about 10kms from my house. I had a tough time the first day as I was riding it after a gap of… mmmm… 5 years. But again, this post is not about my bicycle. It’s about a very small incident that generated Yet Another Random Thought [YART].

We had a blood donation camp in our premises on 26th. It was an awesome experience riding back home on my bicycle after donating blood. 🙂 On the way back, I recalled the first time I had donated blood. It was something that made me Happy (with a capital H). The Feeling of being (virtually) present and save someone’s life. It was overwhelming.
This time, however, I didn’t feel anything special. To be pretty honest, it was an it-has-been-too-long-since-I-did-it feeling.

The typical Piscean, that I am. It lead to a series of other similar thoughts.
The first time I rode a bicycle.
The first time I left home for studies.
The first time I returned home.
First time I spent my salary on my parents and relatives.
And several other first times which are a little personal…… 🙂

These random thoughts made me happy. The Sadist in me, however, doesn’t like to see me happy. He’s happy when I am miserable. He injected in me the comparison table to compare the “first times” with the regular and natural follow ups.

Of course the latter ones don’t provide me with the same feeling of ecstasy. Especially because they are not meant for it. They are simply meant to be a part of life. All the first times provide the view to a new road which would take us forward; but only if we wish to.
People give-up, change lanes…. break up with their loved ones…… all because “things-are-not-the-way-they-used-to-be”. They don’t feel the excitement that used to be.

I wonder why don’t we understand the simple thing that the excitement the “thing” (job, venture, relationship) brought was not just because it was exciting. It brought excitement because it made a change in our lives and made us Happy. The same thing won’t bring the same excitement. It’ll, however, bring Happiness (with a capital H)… always. 🙂

Love (whether for our job, or our loved ones) is a Gift.
The story, however, doesn’t end here. This Gift is also a responsibility… a two way responsibility, between me and my Gift.
Sometimes, it has to make me Happy, other times I have to sustain the faith that it’ll make me Happy.

I know this a very very complex philosophy. I wouldn’t have dared to bare it, had I not come across this dialogue from the movie “Captian Correli’s Mandolin”. Here, the lead actress’s (Penelope Cruz) father sums up this strange philosophy very beautifully in just a few sentences. He takes the support of Love between couples to explain it. I believe it extends to anything you Love.

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No… don’t blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn’t sound very exciting, does it? But it is!

I pray that every time my friends (or I) give up on something, HE reminds me that we are choosing the easier path…
He reminds us all the moments when we fell and hurt oursleves, physically..
And he also reminds us what we did after falling down. 🙂

I love the following two lines (Hindi):

Kaun Kahta hai Aasmaan mein surakh nahi hota,
Ik patthar to zara tabiyat se uchhalo yaaron

I won over the Sadist… this time 🙂

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10 thoughts on “[YART]:The First Time(s)

  1. sometimes i tend to forget that u are a thinker. It doesn’t really show on the surface.
    Hey so u in Web Application Security ? So finally u have found your path my young padawan. May the force be with you.

  2. @ROhan:
    Hey! You were at Barcamp?
    I wanted to come too but some work came up.
    Did OWASP meet at BarCamp? It was my primary interest.

    BTW, thanks for the pointers. I am reading the article on Saddle thingy… aah. 😀

    @Swen:
    Me no thinker dude, just a Sadist. Life’s the teacher. 🙂
    And who you calling padawan? I am already a Jedi, Tycoon Jedi (as in Bond, James Bond). 😉

    @All:
    I hear some faint sounds? Is it just me or some ghost visited my blog?

  3. I like that Cruz’s movie quote, and believe it’s quite true. It’s sad that many couples decide that they are no more “in love” after the initial headiness is over. We realize how much we care for each other only after the initial rushes subside! 🙂 …I realized that I’m still in love with my laptop, even though it gives me lots of problems and throws temper tantrums 😛

  4. Nice philo yaar, but I didnt get what the Happiness with a ‘H’ means….thinking about it.
    Bicycle what a cool way to ride to office am planning for the same.

    Keep Writing.

  5. @Tauseef:
    There are several reasons:
    1. To symbolise the prominence of happy state,
    2. To personify it,
    3. To make it a proper noun, viz, Bipin, God, etc. 🙂
    ….. you decide. 🙂

    Bicycle what a cool way to ride to office am planning for the same.
    Yup it’s cool… but only until you live somewhere near… or you have a senseless bu*t. 😛

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