- Are you in the profession of your choice?
- Yes, then is there something for which you can leave your current profession?
- If No, What is it “that” which takes your breath away?
Yesterday while standing at a railway crossing, waiting for the train to pass by, I realized that I love train journeys. Bus journeys are painful, and flight journeys -too short. Trains provide you enough space to move (and jump) around. People you come across are interesting. Moreover, the journey is long enough to let you enjoy your “break” 🙂
Tonight, I’ll be leaving for home to celebrate Holi and my B’day with family after a long time. This will probably be my last visit to Orissa because father got transferred. Return journey is flight from Kolkata, but tonight’s for my loving train :). I have also realized that each time I get down from a train after finishing the journey, a sense of realization that I have failed to enjoy the journey to the fullest comes to me. I know that not everybody would be able to relate to this feeling, but what the hell! 🙂
This feeling, I guess, has a lot to do with my childhood train journeys. This is when I used to fantasize having a camera to click pictures of the changing landscapes. This fantasy is what drove me to buy a DSLR. There is also a disturbing memory associated with trains, but that’s quite personal.
Anyhoo! I don’t wish to stretch this post anymore. I posted it just to let you guys know a couple of things. One, that I’ll be on leave for around 10 days (Saturdays, Sundays included). Second, my love and fantasy for train journeys :). But there’s also one more thing on my mind, and it doesn’t have much to do with trains.
I am considering abandoning this blog. There are several reasons for this. Most prominent of them (which I’d like to mention here 🙂 ) are that I’ve never liked pouring my personal thoughts on anyone (Okay, a few 😀 ), and I don’t REALLY feel comfortable doing it here. This blog started out as an outlet of my frustrations during the final year BTech (and a medium of one sided communication to a few). However, I am not sure if there’s any point continuing it.
That sad evening when I came back from office, I knew you’d be waiting for me… waiting for me to take you into my arms and start………
Little did I know that you were sick. It was not even half-an-hour when you started showing the initial signs of sickness. We talked for around 3 hours and you felt a lot better. We decided we could work.
What an amazing night it was! We worked till 4:30 AM… and we did some really productive work. Then we both went to sleep.
I woke up a little late… around 10:00 AM. You were still lying beside me. I didn’t disturb you.
I went to freshen up, and returned in an hour after having breakfast. I woke you up… but your wireless disappeared AGAIN. 😦
I then spent the whole day trying to update your drivers, uninstalling and re-adding the hardware, and what not. Nothing would work. Neither in Windows, nor on Linux. The wireless device wouldn’t even show up in the hardware profile. I knew it was time for you to visit your family doctors. I took you to the HP Service center at Indira Nagar. They said that since the medical policy has expired, I’ll have to pay a minimum of 300 bucks, in case I didn’t want to go with the prescribed medication. They promised to send the quotation within two working days. Money was hardly any problem… or so I thought.
Those two days and the corresponding nights without you were one of the worst I can remember… Moreover, the mere thought of you being alone in someone else’s house was shivering. Anyhoo, as they had promised, they sent the quotation on the second day. They demanded Rs. 15,838.00/-. They said your motherboard has come trouble.
I knew, I couldn’t afford such an amount… and you know it too. Don’t you?
Several thoughts crossed my mind. Will I have to get a new lady! Will you never be able to talk again!
I consulted a number of people. My younger bro asked me to give you to him and get a new wife for myself. Other people, including my uncle, supported his view. However, Swenny came as a saviour in the midst of all confusions. He told me about the wireless usb modules. They could make you talk again using 802.11 protocol without any need to g for a surgery. They even cost less.
I literally ran from the office, got a linksys one for you, and bingo! Here you are completely (okay okay, almost) fine. 🙂 I am sorry honey that I could afford you a new mother board, but you do understand that we couldn’t have afforded 16K. Moreover, the linkysy thingy i just 1.6K. Isn’t it simply great. 🙂
In another news, I won an ipod shuffle (2nd Gen) – 1GB for sending an sms to the number imprinted on a packet of HappyDent White. This seems to be the first time I have won something so costly… and it feels a little…ummm… strange to have it. I mean I didn’t really earn it… or do any kind of *meaningful* work to get it.
Anyhoo! I just hope that your new body part is comfortable. 🙂
Take care honey,
I finally bought it… a little sooner than I’d expected.
It’s a Canon EOS 350D, priced at Rs. 29k (minus a few rupees).
Of course, I bought it on installment 🙂
Now, before you start wondering that how in the hell did I manage to connect a DSLR with an RFC, let me specify that both are discrete topics, mashed into one blog post. The camera post ends here, and the wierd saga of RFC 2616 begins next.
Along with my work on web security, I’m also training a few people on PHP. I’ve to get them ready by 30th of November. So after the first session I calculated the number of person-hours we were spending on the training. I did this to have an idea of the scope of my work and the impact it might have (considering that currently we don’t have ANY PHP resources).
Number of working days = 28 days
Total number of hours in hand (8 hrs/day) = 28X8 = 224 hours
Number of person-hourse (9 trainees) = 224X9 = 2016 person-hours
Now adding a value 600, we get = 2616
…which is the RFC in which HTTP protocol 1.1 is defined… and RFC 2616 is something I always emphasize in trainings/talks. 😐
I know, I know that I sound insane… and may be I am. So please bear a little more dose of my insanity 😛
All this made me wonder, what is the significance of this 600? Where does/should it come from?
Yesterday, when I was on my way to buy this camera, I saw a family on a scooter.
It’s number was KA***2016 😐
I am still thinking…
1. Puhleez understand that this post might leave you with a feeling of immense aggression towards the author. Kindly control your feelings and remember that violence is sin.
2. A part of this post is imaginary.
Have you ever:
1. Lost your keys and thought, “Oh! I can make a quick Yahoo! (or Google) search”, only to realize that real life entities aren’t indexed. Not yet, at least. OR
2. Looked at a marriage invitation card and said, “The layout is nice, but the fonts.. yuck!”? OR
3. Prepared a changelog of your….. new girlfriend? OR
4. Smiled and hugged a friend while trying to figure out a bug in your program? OR
5. Told you friends that you’ve married your…. laptop?
If the answer to any of the above mentioned questions is YES, then…. you are in a great trouble my friend. You’re a geek…… and there’s no turning back.
However, life, as cruel as it can get, makes you realize at times that you’re lagging in your quest for geekdom.
The Phantom Menace
It started long long ago when our protagonist was born… But. We won’t go in details. The curious one’s can refer to this post. We will start our story from a latter date when he was recruited in a computer services firm, but wasn’t happy at all. This isn’t where he belongs. He was supposed be somewhere else… to be more intimately involved with computers.
He had a bad feeling about it all!
Attack of the Clones
He, anyhoo, joined the firm, but…………….. it was all a mess.
Or at least that’s what he felt initially. There were (so-called) engineers all around him who’d topped the exams in their respective colleges… but; as The Mentor says, “Damn kids! They’re all alike”.
They were like… Zombies… Parasites… Clones.
Revenge of Swen
“There’s a match for you, not matter WHAT you are”, they say.
True it was for him. He found a match in Swen.
Swen was different.
Not as good looking as him (???), but smart enough (:-o).
Dumb, but geek.
Married, but looking.
Swen soon realized that the young chap was a nerd. Swenny’s nerd-ometer had confirmed it.
…and this wasn’t acceptable to him. He gradually became jealous an started searching for the loophole which would drop The Nerd from geekdom to non-geekdom. He didn’t have to wait too long. He soon realized that the protagonist is a sinner.
He had not watched a single episode of the Star Wars.
The force wasn’t with him. Clearly, he was a non-geek, or still a padawan.
A New Hope
He was devastated… but life moves on.
Swenny left him and went to Chennai and he got involved in training and preparation of new geeks at Hyderabad. He also co-authored a book during the time… spent 16-20 hours a day in front of a computer, mostly on FOSS and security issues. This is the time when he married Bittu.
His hardwork made it clear that there still was some hope.
The Non-Geek Strikes Back
After his back-breaking tenure at Hyderabad, he shifted to Bangalore. This was the time that saw a rise in the stature of the padawan. He worked on a number of things related to Web security (education + pen testing + research ++). Recently, he also started off with PHP training. The force was growing strong….. but Oh! The harsh reality.
He still was a non-Geek.
Return of the Geek
Our very own Jedi Master (Swenny) had by now achieved enlightenment on the matters of brotherhood. He realized his folly. He travelled to Bangalore one weekend and brought with him a gift for the padawan he had once deserted.
A pack of all the six episodes of Star Wars with the following words inscribed on them:
Your path, your destiny lies within,
Discover your inner Geek.
It took only two days for yours truly to get baptised. Thanks to the master, he was no more a padawan… He’s become a full-fledged homegrown Jedi now.
The force grew even stronger and the Geek attained enlightenment in no time.
He realized that Geekdom ain’t no event. It’s a process. A continous quest for GeekDom itself.
The quest continues……
p.s.: I recently presented a webinar at my company titled, The Web is Broken. It’s an introductory presented to web security, and should be conceivable by anyone. It’s fun too 🙂
Similar to my other emotionally charged posts (I mean when I am emotionally charged), this one too comes from a weird place. I am sitting on the wall of my balcony, with a little fear that my Bittu (laptop for the less enlightened) might fall with me.
Image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/surajchauhan/182062828/
I am in a very strange mood right now. Full of nostalgic thoughts. These thoughts have enlightened me about things I wasn’t aware about myself. Since I do not share everything (I am li’ll selfish you see), I won’t post everything. Selfishness reminds me that I could never share my troubles with Everyone. When I left Bhubaneswar (in fact a few months before leaving it), I was left with none to share. It’s pretty unlike-me to accept it here, but I realized that an increase in blogging activity was an outlet in disguise. It’s not that I’ve written everything I feel (it’s just unlike-me), but I could share something. 🙂
Today again, I need an outlet when I’m tangled in this unmanageable web of questions.
Looking at my life, I’ve things that I’ve wanted and worked for (well, except a few).
I am financially independent, and don’t have to bother my parents.
I am working on web security, and that too in a computer services company, with geeks around me.
I also have permission to work from home, pretty unlikely for a beginner on some internal work. Complete freedom, to be precise.
I, with all probability, will become an author in a few months (unless something extremely goes wrong).
…and most importantly, I am ideal son in eyes of my parents (except one issue that I don’t take care of my health).
Still, there is disturbance caused by dissatisfaction… and at times, by overflow of energy. Don’t mistake it to be a job dissatisfaction issue. Computers has been one of my teenage loves, which has grown stronger with times.
Looking again at life, I realize that I don’t have everything I ever wanted…
I wished to contribute to the society; started a few times with SPICMACAY and AID; won a few times; lost a few times. Nothing to complain about really. Obviously, you don’t get all you want.
However, I feel I am entangled between things I wanted, and things things that are my responsibility (like changing the world 🙂 )
Going to an orphanage on a weekend, donating money, etc. are not my cup of tea. I believe they aggravate the problem more than they solve them, IMHO. A weekly visit makes them feel distant; a donation of money, or related things, makes them dependent. These issues need to be attacked from the root.
I have this feeling that I WILL be able to execute my plans someday… but what about now 🙂
Why do I feel like loosing patience, considered one of my biggest assets in the past.